Did you know that the top 3 major issues of life in order are deaths, divorces, and moving? Well now I certainly know why!
I must first qualify that for me, I have moved within Wichita to another home. This move was definitely a challenge as any move is. However, a move resulting in an entirely different life style plus moving 1100 miles to another state truthfully shocked me in what I unexpectedly experienced on so many levels.
Top of my shocks was my overwhelming fatigue that lasted for weeks. How could I not have expected to be so exhausted? Well, I share with you that I was caught by surprise by my lack of energy, enthusiasm, and my inability to bounce back after a week or so.
After “lovingly” hearing from some of my inner circle that “duh Mitzi, you are not 40 any more” it hit me like being splashed with cold water. Yes, this is a new life stage and being in my early 70’s, being realistic about my energy resources and abilities is quite sobering. But I do get it now, I do not like it one bit but I get it.
Another big shock to me was my emotional roller coaster in attempting to get my head around all this newness in EVERYTHING. Again, this is what moving to a new location entails but my shock was how forcefully this reality hit me in the limitless numbers of details to be worked out but more than that, I missed my friends, a lot.
What made this despondency even a harder hurdle to overcome was Bob’s total delight in being here. No dip in his emotional levels other than the typical challenges, but he absolutely is like a kid in candy store here. Now being my extremely left-brain engineer husband, the poor guy tried but had no comprehension of what I was struggling with in my lack of enthusiasm and certainly my lack of joy in life and being here.
Wow! I had not expected this reaction at all since I have family here and friends from high school and etc. Bob kept saying give it time but yet my Debbie downer mood kept on for weeks.
And a big hit for me was my space planning did not work in our converted dining room to a TV/den for Bob and me. What? This is my designer gifting and yet in my own relocating move, my plan pretty much bombed. Now, I have done many projects out of town with very successful results. I in no way anticipated that a relatively simple layout of mine would just not work. If this miscalculation of mine was an isolated disappointment is one thing. Coming on top of my fatigue and emotional state, this was another hit on my fragile state of mind.
Lastly, in this post at least, I must tell you one more unexpected result of this major move. I dealt with a perplexing but major brain fog. My friend Joanna wisely explained to me that after months of downsizing sorting decisions that take a lot of brain energy, then the physical move itself, one’s capacity to continue to make decision upon decision on what to do with this or that over and over and over results in what I experienced, total mental fatigue.
Now I know first hand why moving is designated as one of life’s biggest challenges and issues to overcome. These unexpected results of my major move shocked me in their profound severity that lasted for weeks. My ultimate goal for you, my beloved followers, is to be authentic in order for you to gain knowledge, wisdom, and finally understanding. How could I be true to you if I acted like this was like a walk in the park, no big deal happening in my life?
I want you all to know what I experienced so that it might prepare you for what could be your realities in a major life relocation. I also want you to know that my Bob was right to tell me to give it time. So now 4 weeks later, my light is shining brighter and brighter as I continue to make progress in this absolutely gorgeous area with unlimited potentials awaiting for me.
There is more to share with you on my major move. Please tune in next week for more updates on our downsizing and life stage and life style journey.
I love and appreciate you all for following along with me.
Living and Loving Life Together,
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After our move to Charleston, like you, I was really missing my friends. Bryan shared this wisdom: “Friendship happens when you have history with a person. And the only way to have history is with the passage of time. Rest in this and be easy on yourself.”
Thank you Gail for sharing your similar emotional adjustments knowing how many friends you were so close to during your time in Wichita. Bryan’s words are so true . I am knowing this more and more as when I can just start up with a long time friend like there were no years since our last visit.
Thank you for commenting! xoxo Mitzi
Oh, Mitzi, I feel your pain!?. Just give yourself a break— it will take time. I get tired just thinking about all you have accomplished these past 6 mo.
Will & I have moved 17 times & it is exhausting! Our last move was 27 yrs ago- still had David at home so immediately got involved but more importantly, we were 27 yrs younger. I think of a move now & don’t even want to deal with the thought of it.
Hang in there & give yourself a big hug from us.
Thank you Kelly so much for understanding my situation which you certainly know first hand what it is like. Love your comment on thinking what I have done in the last 6 months! This is a great reminder to me too! It has been a long stretch of many accomplishments especially for not a young chic like I am not! Miss you. xoxo Mitzi
Dear Mitzi,
We are in our fourth year in our downsized home. I cried a lot that first year I can tell you. I gave up my dream home and a house full of furnishings that just looked so out of place here. I’ve given so much away and yet this transition takes time. This home needed so much to be done. The previous owner didn’t touch a thing once we signed the purchase & sales agreement. We moved into a house where the carpeting smelled so bad you couldn’t breathe, the air conditioning was shot and the grass was all dead. I could go on and on.
We may have remained in the same state but Central Massachusetts is nothing like the suburb we lived in before. There are no malls, no good restaurants, we are hours away from theaters and what I consider civilization. Walmart and Lowe’s are my new best friends. While being on the lake is peaceful and beautiful, it doesn’t always make up for the lack of culture here. People are not friendly, they don’t want their circle interrupted so it’s difficult.
I’m sorry to say that it took years for me to feel good about this place. There are times when I miss my old surroundings so much so don’t be surprised to find these feelings creeping back at times. I was still working when we moved here and the company where I worked had been bought out so that my office was moved as well. Talk about living in boxes! But we survive, the inner strength that we know we have may be sapped for a while but we bounce back. We too, found it amazing that our age impacted how we were able to deal with things. For friends contemplating downsizing, we tell them not to wait. They bemoan the fact about moving after many years in one house, but the ability to deal with everything only gets harder as the years go by. I still have stuff packed away in boxes. It is so hard to part with a lot of things, especially things that were my moms. The most frustrating thing is to not know where some things are. It wears me down.
So, I know it gets better and it is good to hear that you have experienced some of what I’ve been through so that I know I’m not alone. The best thing you can do is to be gentle with yourself and recognize that your feelings, both mental and physical, are normal. I happened on a few blogs about a year ago and I consider this to be my new set of friends. Take care. I look forward to hearing your story as you go along.
Oh Margo, I read every word of your comment and felt every thing that you have experienced. It is so different relocating at our age, no offense but I assume you are not way young but not way old either. Good advice you tell others to not wait too long as life stages affect our energy as you and I so know! And as far as being away from shops and etc, I am now about 20-30 minutes from the basics. If I want any up town whatever, it is Cleveland or Pittsburg but I am good with this loving our area. Thank you for understanding all the mental and physical ups and downs associated with our major moves along with very different lifestyles. I appreciate so much you commenting and for your follow.
xoxo Mitzi
Mitzi, I so appreciate your sharing your up & down
moments & struggles with this move. We can
relate to how you feel BUT it will get better as
everything is finally where it should be! Love you
my ole’ friend! (Not old!!?)
Dearest Mitzi, thank you for your honesty. It helps to know, that although we want to be our best selves, at this age we certainly have different challenges. Your honesty is a breath of fresh air. And I know you will get “there” sooner rather than later. ❤️
I love seeing your name my sweet special friend and for your commenting filled with encouragement! Yes, I will get there, eventually…allowing myself to just let it go is my mindset right now. I can’t wait to see you at our reunion next weekend! xoxoxo Mitzi
Thank you Mitzi for sharing! Our move from Abu Dhabi, UAE to Mountian View, CA after 6 years of living over seas has been nothing short of crazy. We still have a home we are leasing in Colorado Springs, but we are in the process of down sizing from 5 thousand square feet to 2,000 and this is not our final move yet! I have given away and sold but I do feel a since of relief! Again, it is comforting to know I am not the only one having all of the emotional ups and downs!
Best,
Jody
Yes, Diana, I am getting all of what you said! As hard as it is to not be in control or not to be seeing an end in sight yet, I know you are right. I will get there and suddenly, there will be en end once and for all. My goal has always been to be you, totally organized in a peaceful home full of beauty and peace.
I love you for commenting!! xoxo Mitzi
Oh for sure, dear Jody, you are so not alone! Some days I feel like I am in a maize with no way out due to the endless list of to do’s and how to organize my new life and home. One day though, I truly believe that you and I will look back on this time in our lives and say, good for us, we did indeed make it all happen! It is good to know that we are on this life journey together. xoxo Mitzi
I have not had this same experience in moving as we built a similar sized house in the same town 4 years ago as you know. But what I really get is having a hubby that rolls with the punches and just tells you what you know is logical and right but still…argh!!!…and it becomes almost more frustrating when he’s cruising along and I’m not! Bob was right of course; time has passed and things are getting better! Xoxoxo
I love it that you get my situation Amy as only one who has been there can relate to what I was meaning. Sometimes, only sometimes, I wish that I weren’t the only one who has emotional high and lows. In our reality though, we count on these steadfast solid hubbys of ours to keep it all going regardless of what the emotional climate may be!..:)
Love you! Mitzi
Thank you for your honesty. As a 72 yr old person who has lived in my California home for almost 35 years, I must say that I would hate to move from here. I am an Army brat, I went to 3 first grades, many elementary schools, 3 high schools, 4 different colleges . . . I’m DONE with moving!!!!!!!!!!! . Moving from my home now would totally devastate me!
Hey Mitzi. This is Nancy, the ultimate worrier here. Just wanted to let you know I was so happy to hear you are normal and human !!!! Now that sounds a bit rude but dear friend you just went through the move of a lifetime and it was blowing my mind how easy it appeared for you. I love your honesty and I know for a fact you are going to be so happy in your new abode !! Thanks to Bob… and I concur…. Give it time!! Love you and miss you!!
Thank you Sandy for your honesty as well. I cannot fathom how you did all these moves but for sure, I understand why you are so not there on ever moving again. You are a year younger than I am so I can only say that if, and for you it is a big if, remember that moving takes a lot out of us, especially if we are not 40 any more. God bless you in your journey. Mizi
Oh dear Nancy, how I loved so much your hilarious comment! Never ever fear that I have it all together, ever! This has been one of the hardest challenges that I have ever had to overcome and truthfully, I have a long way to go. If I could share with you all the mess ups and mistakes that have fallen under my radar, you would feel even better about me having it all together! A biggie is that we have spent hours looking for my new i-Pad with not success. I have been late on a few charge cards, have not scheduled dr apts yet even. But, I do have a hair stylist that I love so my world is getting there.
Love you back and of course miss you!
Just so you know, your friends here are struggling without you! I am so proud of your courage to do this and your unselfishness to make Bob happy that I cant Express it! I’m so stuck that I’m also a little jealous of your great new adventures! Hope you make it back soon for a visit!!I know I’m not the only one who’s missing you!
Oh my dear Janet, I love, love, love your comment so much!! Thank you my friend for giving me a special hug from you by lettimg me knowI am missed.
I have absolutely no doubt Janet that you would do the very same thing to make this major move if you had to do it for your hubby or family.
I do however, understand your very difficult situation that you are as you say, stuck. I am sad for you but I am also proud of you for your change of perspective on you needing to do your own thing and make your life the best it can given your circumstances.
I will be back in the fall….:)
Love you, Mitzi